I had a glimpse of what free will was like.
It just suddenly came to me. It was exhilarating.
The ability to do anything I wanted.
To be anything I wanted.
To go anywhere I wanted.
It was so, so close. I could almost touch it. I could almost feel it.
... but... I had to push it away. I was afraid of it.
Why? ... Because I saw what would happen if I held on to it.
I saw what would happen to me.
I saw what would happen to the people around me.
I saw how it would affect the people closest to me.
And if I had held on to it...
...
... I fear I would have acted on it.